Taylor Swiftis reflecting on thatinfamous 2009 VMAs momentwithKanye Westand how it shaped her in the years since.In a new cover story forVariety, the “Lover” singer, 30, opened up about the emotional impact that her 19-year-old self suffered after the rapper interrupted her acceptance speech to say that he felt she didn’t deserve her award for best female video.“As a teenager who had only been in country music, attending my very first pop awards show, somebody stood up and sent me the message: ‘You are not respected here. You shouldn’t be here on this stage,'” Swift told the magazine.She continued: “That message was received, and it burrowed into my psyche more than anyone knew.”“That can push you one of two ways,” she added. “I could have just curled up and decided I’m never going to one of those events ever again, or it could make me work harder than anyone expects me to, and try things no one expected, and crave that respect — and hopefully one day get it.”Christopher Polk/Getty ImagesSwift’s feud with West, 42 — which was reignited years later with the rapper’s song “Famous” and anedited recorded phone conversation— is chronicled in a newNetflixdocumentary about the pop superstar,Taylor Swift: Miss Americana, which debuts later this month.“But then when that person who sparked all of those feelings comes back into your life,” she said, “as he did in 2015, and I felt like I finally got that respect, but then soon realized that for him it was about him creating some revisionist history where he was right all along, and it was correct, right and decent for him to get up and do that to a teenage girl.”She added: “I don’t think too hard about this stuff now.”Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest storiesTaylor SwiftonVariety.Mary Ellen MatthewsWhile growing from the 2009 VMAs encounter, Swift also toldVarietythat she has learned the time and place for politeness versus assertiveness in her life.The artist cited her public battle for therights to her music catalogand her experiences during a2017 groping trial, also covered in the new documentary, as helping her discover how to “speak up.”“I think one theme that ended up emerging in the film is what happens when you are not just a people pleaser but someone who’s always been respectful of authority figures, doing what you were supposed to do, being polite at all costs,” said Swift. “I still think it’s important to be polite, but not at all costs.”Taylor Swift.Mary Ellen MatthewsShe added: “Not when you’re being pushed beyond your limits, and not when people are walking all over you. I needed to get to a point where I was ready, able and willing to call out bulls— rather than just smiling my way through it.”Taylor Swift: Miss Americanais available to stream on Netflix on Jan. 31.

Taylor Swiftis reflecting on thatinfamous 2009 VMAs momentwithKanye Westand how it shaped her in the years since.

In a new cover story forVariety, the “Lover” singer, 30, opened up about the emotional impact that her 19-year-old self suffered after the rapper interrupted her acceptance speech to say that he felt she didn’t deserve her award for best female video.

“As a teenager who had only been in country music, attending my very first pop awards show, somebody stood up and sent me the message: ‘You are not respected here. You shouldn’t be here on this stage,'” Swift told the magazine.

She continued: “That message was received, and it burrowed into my psyche more than anyone knew.”

“That can push you one of two ways,” she added. “I could have just curled up and decided I’m never going to one of those events ever again, or it could make me work harder than anyone expects me to, and try things no one expected, and crave that respect — and hopefully one day get it.”

Christopher Polk/Getty Images

Kanye West, Taylor Swift

Swift’s feud with West, 42 — which was reignited years later with the rapper’s song “Famous” and anedited recorded phone conversation— is chronicled in a newNetflixdocumentary about the pop superstar,Taylor Swift: Miss Americana, which debuts later this month.

“But then when that person who sparked all of those feelings comes back into your life,” she said, “as he did in 2015, and I felt like I finally got that respect, but then soon realized that for him it was about him creating some revisionist history where he was right all along, and it was correct, right and decent for him to get up and do that to a teenage girl.”

She added: “I don’t think too hard about this stuff now.”

Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories

Taylor SwiftonVariety.Mary Ellen Matthews

Taylor Swift Variety Cover

While growing from the 2009 VMAs encounter, Swift also toldVarietythat she has learned the time and place for politeness versus assertiveness in her life.

The artist cited her public battle for therights to her music catalogand her experiences during a2017 groping trial, also covered in the new documentary, as helping her discover how to “speak up.”

“I think one theme that ended up emerging in the film is what happens when you are not just a people pleaser but someone who’s always been respectful of authority figures, doing what you were supposed to do, being polite at all costs,” said Swift. “I still think it’s important to be polite, but not at all costs.”

Taylor Swift.Mary Ellen Matthews

Taylor Swift for Variety

She added: “Not when you’re being pushed beyond your limits, and not when people are walking all over you. I needed to get to a point where I was ready, able and willing to call out bulls— rather than just smiling my way through it.”

Taylor Swift: Miss Americanais available to stream on Netflix on Jan. 31.

source: people.com