Paris Hilton.Photo: Dan Boczarski/NBC via Getty
Paris Hiltonis shedding new light on her infamous 2003 sex tape with then-boyfriendRick Salomon.
In an excerpt from her new bookParis: The Memoir, the reality star detailed what resulted in the sex tape happening in the first place, recalling how Salomon repeatedly brought up the idea before she eventually gave in.
“I don’t remember that much about the night he wanted to make a videotape while we made love,” wrote Hilton, 42, peran excerptpublished inThe Timesof London. “He had often said it was something he did with other women, but I felt weird and uncomfortable about it. I always told him, ‘I can’t. It’s too embarrassing.'”
She continued, “He kept pushing. I kept making excuses.”
And while Salomon promised that the tape would remain private between them, Hilton recalled the ultimatum he gave her: “He told me if I wouldn’t do it, he could easily find someone who would.”
Since Hilton struggled with her sexuality after suffering fromabuse as a child, she wanted to be “alive in a sensual way.” However, she said, “I wasn’t capable of the level of trust required to make a videotape like that.”
“I had to drink myself silly. Quaaludes helped. But I did it,” she continued to write. “I have to own that. I knew what he wanted, and I went with it.”
Paris Hilton.Kevin Mazur/Getty
Before she knew it, a clip from the intimate moment was leaked, teasing a full-length version of the tape that was released shortly after.
“The world thinks of me as a sex symbol, and I’m here for that, because symbol literally means icon,” she wrote. “But when people saw that sex tape, they didn’t say ‘icon,’ they said ‘slut.’ They said ‘whore.'”
Added Hilton, “I felt like my life was over, and in many ways it was. Certainly, the career I had envisioned was no longer possible.”
Hilton has been candid about her fears around her sexuality since the sex tape leaked, even recently tellingHarper’s Bazaarshe was “known as a sex symbol, butanything sexual terrified me.”
Steve Granitz/FilmMagic
TheParis in Lovestar is now married toCarter Reum. In finding love with Reum, Hilton — who recently welcomed sonPhoenix Barron— began enjoying sex and no longer heldthe belief she was asexual.
“It wasn’t until Carter that I finally am not that way. I enjoy hooking up with my husband,” she also toldHarper’s Bazaar.
“I just feel like after all the hell I’ve been through, I’m finally getting what I deserve,” she added, “which is someone I can trust and someone to build a real life with.”
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Paris: The Memoiris available March 14 wherever books are sold.
source: people.com
