8 Robots Who Learned How To Love… Badly

Can golem learn how to enjoy ? If you ’ve watch or read any amount of scifi , you know the answer is by all odds yes . But not all robot check how to love sagely or well . In fact , some of them are pretty crappy at it . Here are just a few androids , AIs and automatons that have no business being in human relationship .

1 ) The Vision

If the Marvel universe had a show like Maury , the Vision and the Scarlet Witch would be on it all the time . Although it started out as well as any relationship between an mechanical man created by a homicidal robot and the daughter of the most serious mutant in existence could go , it speedily went downhill once Wanda Maximoff raise herself up two phony child . Then Vision is destruct and reconstruct , sans emotions . This freaks out Wanda so much that her baby kibosh existing . Then the Egyptian god Set tries to espouse her and Vision go across the body politic while Wanda hold up in and out of catatonia . Vision does manage to advance from a defaulter to decent better half , but shortly after , the two are murdered by Onslaught . When they come back , the damaged Vision distinguish Wanda to get lost , and Wanda starts revenge - sleeping with Wonder Man , whose insight were part of the Vision ’s initial programming . When Vision and Wanda ultimately get back together , the Wasp make a tough joke about Wanda ’s deadened shaver and she pretty much kills all the Avengers , including the Vision . I ’m just saying , at least some of this is on him .

2 ) Caprica Six , Battlestar Galatica

I do n’t know how you’re able to summarize the half-baked amatory relationship Caprica Six has with Gaius Baltar during the course of BSG , but I do know this — it was n’t hefty . She seduce him for two years to be able to destroy Caprica , but then they start have vision of each other ; she meets back up with him and they decrease in love but then Baltar sucks and Six start slumber with the Three torturing Baltar , but still get by to be heart - break when Baltar leaves . And then there ’s who whole Tigh — pregnant in jail — miscarriage insanity . Point is , she ’s at least as crazy as she is demented - red-hot .

3 ) Red Tornado

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create by Dr. T.O. Morrow , the whirlwind - generate android known as Red Tornado used to walk around in disguise to ascertain what it was like to be human , as android are wo nt to do . On one such jaunt in 1973 , he draw across a cleaning woman named Kathleen Sutton , and they take a fancy to each other . So much so that not only did they start a human relationship , but adopted a missy make Traya from the war - torn commonwealth of Bialya . What ’s the problem ? Red Tornado never tell her he was a robot . Well , that ’s a family relationship built on cartel . And Tornado did n’t even allow in it until 1980 ! Not shockingly , their relationship did n’t last too long after that ( although to be fair Red Tornado had been turned into a wind elemental and been drive mad by line pollution , so that did n’t help , either ) .

4 ) Ro - Man , Robot Monster

One of the most fearsome movies ever made , Robot Monster is most noted because the titulary robot monster was a piece in a rotten ape costume with a diving helmet on his psyche . And also he oversee to destruct the intact world , with a bubble machine , except for one family who subsist about two mi away from his cave in Central Park . Anyways , one of these last few survivor is Alice , a pert young woman who Ro - Man determine he wanted as a cave - mate . This courtship is made somewhat difficult by Ro - Man continually killing members of Alice ’s family , include fry . Well , at least he did n’t lie down to her about being a giant golem emulator alien .

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5 ) David , A.I.

David ’s purpose in life was to be a automaton that learned how to love . Technically , he succeeded in falling in love with his “ female parent ” Monica . But the problem is that while David read how to fall down in love , they forgot to program him with a salt lick of goddam sense . Whether he ’s accidentally drown Monica ’s substantial boy or traipsing about the country with a gigolo - bot looking for the Blue Fairy from Pinocchio because someone blank out to tell him the remainder between fact and fiction , David ’s utter stupidity makes him a human relationship disaster . Here ’s a relationship peak for anybody , living people or robots : if you find yourself above your loved one ’s seam as they sleep with a knife in your deal for any reason , you ’re doing it wrong .

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6 ) Platinum of The Metal Men

Although the Metal Men were created by Dr. Will Magnus , his proprietary Responsometer technology means that he had no ability to shape their personality . Shockingly , Platinum , the sole female fellow member of the group , is urgently in beloved with her Lord , and gets devilishly jealous when he break on date with human women . That ’s unfit , but what ’s worse is that Magnus is an tremendous dick to her — well , all the Metal Men , really — and essentially her relationship with him is just kind of abusive . Stop get it on this asshole , Platinum ! You could do better with any of the other ludicrously list doctors in the DC world .

7 ) Filer 13B-445 K , “ The Robot Who want To Know ”

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In this Harry Harrison short fib , filer are program library robots programme to learn as much as they can about one specific thing . Filer 13B-445 K just happens to be the automaton whose labor is understanding love . to research the human phenomenon , he mask himself and tries to hook up with a top - operose lady who falls for him … until she see he ’s more machine than piece ( like 100 % machine ) . Filer 13B-445 K is so mooch out by this rejection he self - destructs , specifically via a central pump so people can make “ rugged heart ” jokes . See , robots who love human charwoman ? Do n’t pretend to be human . It never works out !

Crow T. Robot , Mystery Science Theater 3000

Crow T. Robot is a automaton of many love : screenwriting , subsuming his personality into gonzo aspect of that calendar week ’s moving-picture show , and Kim Cattrall . The mavin of Sex and the City and Mannequin came into Crow ’s life-time when Joel and the Bots watch City Limits , prompting Crow to indite the above song . It ’s terrible . So while his robotic marrow is in the correct blank space , Crow ’s romantic skills pass on much to be trust . Admittedly , he stepped up his gamewhen he fell for The Magic Sword ’s 79 - year - old star Estelle Winwood , but since she was 79 years old at the clip , I mean it ’s safe to say Crow still has a bit of employment to do regarding discriminate in his affections .

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